Martial Arts can be likened to marmite (or for our friends in Australia, Vegemite). You either love it, or hate it; I have never heard a person, who is training, say they tolerate it.

In my last blog, I mused over being a mother and a female sensei, and how the two can go hand-in-hand. In this post I would like to reflect on why the females who train in our club carry on with their training. And ponder briefly over why other females never entertain the idea of giving it a go.

So, why is there this “marmite effect”?

What stops many from becoming a female martial artist and why I persevered

For many out there I think the term ‘martial arts’ can straightaway put a block in a girl’s mind.

If you watch films, TV and look at media, martial arts is seen as something as brutal, destructive and full of flying kicks and almost superhuman feats. This is something that I, as a mere mortal, could never hope to achieve.

Throughout history, women have been seen as the weaker sex. Disney films that I grew up watching, until of late, always portrayed the main female lead as someone who needed protecting from the ‘darkness’. This was usually in the form of lots of woodland creatures and a dashing prince.

Unfortunately, throughout my training I have never received any help from woodland creatures or a dashing prince. I have achieved through sheer determination and lots of encouragement.

Before Jujitsu

Before I started Ju Jitsu I did step aerobics which was a disaster. It taught me I have no coordination or rhythm whatsoever – normal aerobics, dance class (always on the back row), swimming, water aerobics, etc etc. I tried lots of different activities which were deemed suitable for a female and I hated them all.

Looking back now on my Ju Jitsu journey it has made me wonder why I have stuck with it. I get bored very easily with sports and am always looking for something new to engage my attention.

I then had a lightbulb moment. Ju Jitsu is one thing that when I am at the dojo demands my full concentration and attention. It teaches me self discipline. It teaches me how to overcome things in my life away from the dojo. Ju Jitsu gave me confidence.

I don’t mean confidence if something happened I could suddenly become Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee. Or single-handedly take down a small army like Steven Seagal. Or indeed be as awesome as Master Shifu from Kung Fu Panda with his Wushi finger. I could however be the panda reaching the biscuits on the top shelf!

No, it generally gave me much more awareness of my surroundings and the skills to be a mortal with some hidden talents.

Female Jujituska who started training & stayed committed

I recently asked a few females in our club what made them decide to start training in Ju Jitsu and why they carry on. Here are a few of their replies (names have been changed so I can plead plausible deniability):

Treated As An Equal

“I used to be a nervous wreck before I started training and lacked confidence; I never felt I was treated as an equal. In our dojo I am treated as an equal, it doesn’t matter if you are male or female. We are all expected to train as hard as each other within in our own capabilities. It’s great having the benefit of being taught by male and female senseis, they both bring the same teachings but different perspectives. I love it.” – Rachel

Walking at Night with Confidence

“I lacked confidence before I started training, I didn’t like walking to my car by myself at night time. Ju Jitsu has given me confidence” – Hurricane Mary

Note to readers: Hurricane Mary is now 3 belts up and has indeed found her inner ninja. She may only be tiny in stature but puts fear into many.

Ninja Awareness and The Hidden Agenda of Spreading “Evilness”

“It has given me confidence, ability, awareness and a great set of friends who are like family. I love being a female sensei so I can pass on my evilness to other like minded people.” – Evil Ninja

Give Martial Arts a Go!

So, there you have it. I feel that for most females, martial arts will always be seen as a male-dominated environment. And for the majority of dojos I suppose that is true.

My fellow coaches and I would love to see more females coming into training. Indeed, we welcome all new starters. We love new additions to our family.

Why not give it a go? The hardest part is stepping through the door.

Photos courtesy of Karma Ju-Jitsu (edits were done by Logen with use of public domain images & Share-Alike CC Flickr Bruce Lee Image by Giga Paitchadze – flickr.com/photos/55081903@N00)

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If you had told me 5 years ago that I’d start martial arts, I’d have laughed in your face. If you had told me that 5 years later I’d be a black belt in Jujitsu, a Sensei and undergone a teaching qualification, I’d have looked at you as though you were crazy. Yet, here I am, writing a post on what it is like to be a female in martial arts.

I was always under the assumption that children do martial arts because of their parents. But looking around the dojo last night, it appears that the majority of our parents started training because of their children.

Why did I start training?

I started training because of my eldest daughter. She was getting bullied at school at the age of 9. So, I took her to the local dojo.

I went on the mat with her at her first lesson to give her support and the rest is history.

Within 3 lessons she sorted the bully out at school. She is now a black belt herself and helps teach children at the club once a week. She wants to give back to the club. My youngest daughter started training at the age of 7 and is now mid way through.

Martial Art Family Dynamics

The dynamics in our family can be quite interesting. How many families do you know, if one sibling complains the other hit them to be told, “well, why didn’t you block?”. Conversely, when they are fighting to tell them, “that is not how you punch, if you are going to punch do it like this”.

Not too long ago I had to take one of my children to A&E (ER) because she had an injury (not related to JJ). On arrival the nurse in triage noted quite a few bruises on her forearms and quite a few on mine. We were later questioned whether or not we were in danger at home from domestic abuse. It was assumed my husband was beating us, to which my daughter replied, “I think Dad is more frightened of me and mum than the other way around!”.

I have since started carrying my martial arts licence with me in the car. This is just so I can prove the bruises are training related!!

My husband has no interest in martial arts or training. So, he is quite used to his two daughters and his wife disappearing for a few hours every week. He is also used to opening the boot of the car and finding weapons, gi and various Jujitsu artifacts.

Mom vs Jujitsu Instructor

During working hours I am a normal, working mother, doing the school run , running the household, cooking, washing and cleaning. On an evening twice a week I don a blue gi top and become Sensei. I come alive, having fun with the kids and training hard with the other senior jujitsukas (ju jitsu students).

Some people think that this could become confusing to my children, am I their mother or am I a Sensei? They know the difference. Monday and Wednesday evening from 6pm to 10pm they refer to me as Sensei. They have sometimes slipped up and called me Sensei mum. But other peoples’ children also call me Miss, thinking they are still at school!

What I love about Jujitsu

I love my club. We are a family run club with dedicated instructors and 174 students on our books, through word of mouth. Also, I love that I have a Jujitsu family who are there for training and more importantly social events.

I love the fact that it’s the colour of my obi (belt) that is important, not the fact I am a female in a male dominated environment. I love the fact I’m a sensei.

Not only that. I love the fact that both myself and my children can defend ourselves if necessary. But still have a laugh and learn whilst in the dojo.

Personal Thanks

I can’t imagine my life without Jujitsu, it doesn’t define me, but it is a very important part of who I am. People don’t know I do Jujitsu, even family members. For me, my inner samurai is something I like to keep close and personal. It is something to be used only if necessary but the confidence it has given me and the chance to meet new people is amazing.

I would like to dedicate this post to my amazing Sensei Mike Widdall and the other instructors who have been there to inspire me, shout at me, guide me and above all welcome me to the club.

My Senseis are and always will be Sensei Widd, Sensei Ryan, Sensei Gaz, Sensei Ste, Sensei Andy, Sensei George, Sensei Mark and of course Sensei Evil Ninja Bitch Jess, Sensei Helen, Sensei Jen (without whom the club would not function) and the late Soke Clarke for setting up WJJF.

Thank you Karma Jujitsu for everything!

If you have been thinking about trying martial arts I highly recommend it. The hardest thing is the first step through the doors.

You will know if it is a good club by the attitude of the instructors and more importantly whether or not the kids are enjoying their training.

I stepped through the doors 5 years ago and have never looked back.

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